The Athlete
Somebody forgot to tell this guy that fishing isn't actually a competitive sport. This is the guy who keeps a counter in his pocket and can vividly remember every fish he has caught for the last three years. The Athlete has a rule book on what constitutes a landed fish. Fish came unbuttoned as you were reaching down for it? Too bad, doesn't count!
If you are out fishing with the Athlete, he'll make you pull out the tape measure to prove that he still has the catch of the day. This guy is fine to be around as long as he is catching the most/biggest fish, but beware, this pro-star will throw you overboard the second his title is challenged.
The Princess
The Princess is everyone's favorite fair-weather fisherman. The Princess won't even think about putting a line in the water unless the conditions are absolutely perfect. "It's +12 outside, +12.5 is the lowest temperature I'll fish at". The Princess always catches the fewest fish, but only because they have a line in the water the least.
The Princess usually starts the day off by getting a nasty tangle and telling the rest of the boat that fishing is stupid and they want to go home. Want to see something hilarious? Go fishing with the Athlete and the Princess and see what happens if the Princess comes out on top.
The Pro
The Pro is a must have in any fishing party. This guy has all the toys and is generally the only guy who knows how to tie a proper knot. This guy only fishes with other people because his friends rip on him for fishing alone.
The Pro literally believes he can talk to fish and takes credit for the fish that everyone else catches.
This guy has a tackle box that is easily worth more than most countries in Africa and he owns a rod for every day of the week. When you are fishing with the Pro remember one thing: Fishing is serious business.
The Vet
The Vet only gets out fishing because someone in your party got stuck with community service after a long night of drinking. This guy literally has a fishing rod made out of wood and thinks that dredging the bottom with a treble hook is still a viable fishing method.
The Vet wears more layers than everyone on the boat combined. Make sure you keep an eye on this old guy when he inevitably doses off, you don't want to have to jump in and rescue him.
The Noob
Everybody hates the Noob. The Noob doesn't have any of his own gear, has no idea how to tie a knot, and has no clue what he is doing. After you finish tying the Noobs rig for him, he usually proceeds to catch a fish on the very first cast. The Noob always catches the most fish and makes sure the more experienced fishermen hear about it.
It wouldn't be so bad if the Noob actually unhooked his own fish: "He swallowed this one really deep, you'll have to give me a hand!" Seriously, screw this guy.
Awesome start to a great blog. I look forward to watching this space. Hope we can add a story or two after his weekend.
ReplyDeleteEthan
I assume the noob is an exact description of me eh?
ReplyDeleteAhhhh yes, the princess. My kind of fisherman.
ReplyDeleteAll of these characters are based off of real people.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been fishing in years but want to go again sometime (always loved it as a kid). I'd be the noob, but the good kind of noob that wants the pro to show me how to do things properly but then let me do it myself.. though chances are I would have a hissy fit at one point or another if I screw up.
ReplyDeleteThere's no crying in fishing, but there is plenty of swearing.
ReplyDeleteWell done Jordan, pretty funny and accurate.
ReplyDeleteMuffin on FFC
What would I be Jordan? Be honest, I can take it.
ReplyDeleteYikes, I'm not sure! On the hard water you would probably be the pro with the amount of toys you have. I might have to do a part 2 to talk about some secondary angling characters at some point.
ReplyDeleteHa Ha fantastic. I agree perhaps a minor and major character lies within us all.
ReplyDelete